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We forget about the foundation our marriage is actually built on- Communication, alignment, commonality, and partnership. Intentionally carve out time to be with your first love. Sometimes we go to coffee shops or for a walk in the park. The toll on your marriage relationship is too great not to. For your family’s sake, intentionally carve out time to do this each month.Make this a priority and make sure your children know how important it is to you. Call up a babysitter or farm the kids out to their grandparents or a neighbor, and get out on the town! Honestly, we were very close before we got married, but it was there that I thought, This is what commitment is: There's no going back."—"I travel for work with male colleagues sometimes. If I'm about to go out and my hair looks stupid, she'll tell me. I buy things and hide the bags in my trunk until he's not home so I can hang up the clothes, jewelry, or shoes and take the tags off. He has been sitting down with me and I'm improving, but it's our biggest struggle."—*Brittnie Wells, 27, Herrin, Ill.; married four years *"My wife handles all our money.And before, even if I said to my now husband, Mike, nothing's going to happen. Or if the color she has on is obnoxious, I'll let her know—though she might still wear it."—"Knowing that our foundation is solid has given us the strength and the courage to face challenges we might not have alone. Snowden, 36, Sacramento, Calif.; married seven years *Your money Merging accounts, wrestling over who spends what, revealing a sordid credit history—marrying your finances is a minefield. Surprisingly intimate."The sticker shock was the main thing. I actually participated in one of these so-called pedis. And she loves to remind me when I buy something for that I only get a -a-week allowance, which is pretty horrible!But at others, I feel that for her it's almost All right, let's get it over with.' I haven't understood that totally.That just kind of caught me by surprise."—"I am more attracted to my wife today than when we got married. Even in this era of been-there-done-all-that, marriage changes things.
Keep up the good work.' I find it refreshing and awesome."—*B. Snowden, 36, Sacramento, Calif.; married seven years *"I'm the youngest among my colleagues, and when I'd say me and my boyfriend,' I felt as if they looked at it like Oh, that's cute.There’s no magic formula for beginning to date again, just like there wasn’t a magic formula back when you first met one another. Back before couples lived together pre-wedding, saying "I do" meant starting a totally different existence—new last name, new address, new (or any! "It was instant," says Chip Walker, a 28-year-old pharmacist in New York City.Life took over and gradually the reasons for not going on dates anymore, started to pile up…I get it. In our family, life gets real, and that can happen faster than fast! No More Excuses Let’s just call that list above what it is—a bunch of excuses! There was a day when going on dates, to spend time with the woman or the man you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with, was top priority. We live in an era where it’s socially acceptable to sign our kids up for every extra-curricular activity under the sun. However, this in no way means you must sacrifice your relationship as a couple. If their parent’s relationship is falling apart, their security and confidence will fall apart.However, left unchecked for months, or years, and you could find yourself waking up next to the person you once skipped a college class, or ditched friends, to spend time with, and not really know them anymore. Somewhere along the road of marriage we develop amnesia. What comes along with this is massive parental involvement. By all means, involve your children in extra-curricular activities like sports or theater. And, by all means, be involved in their lives, and these activities as much as you can. But, do not sacrifice your marriage relationship for your children. You can do this pretty inexpensively and creatively too. We’ll go out to dinner, see a movie, or hit a cocktail lounge for a drink every now and then, but mostly, we just spend time out together.
If people were dancing, I never wanted to—I didn't feel 100 percent comfortable in that way.